


No Air

by mainestage



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M, No Air (Jordin Sparks), loosely based off the song
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-30
Updated: 2015-06-30
Packaged: 2018-04-07 01:08:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4243731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mainestage/pseuds/mainestage
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry has to leave. Louis has to deal.</p>
            </blockquote>





	No Air

The best way to describe the feeling of losing him is suffocation…

Watching the back of his head slowly fade, and eventually disappear was more tortuous than having your skin peeled away from your conscious, living body. I’d rather be crucified than  _ever_ have to feel the pain of losing him once more.

I can’t live in a world with  _no air_.

 

Even though I knew it was only for a few days, and that on Monday I’d see his beautiful face again, my chest tightened and I had to fight to hold on to my dignity. Standing in an airport, forcing myself to raise my hand and wave as the boy I’m in love with walks back into the area restricted to me, a piece of me is leaving on that plane. A piece of me more important than my own heart.

My heart crumbles as I feel a tug on my sleeve. It’s Liam. He’s telling me we need to go, but I can’t hear him…

I don’t want to hear him.

I want my Harry back.

Eventually though, I have to comply. I force myself to turn, take in his understanding yet pained expression and nod with a fake smile. I have to lift my feet, tear them from the ground that no longer connects me with the one I love, and walk out of the airport doors.

Following Niall’s retreating figure is easy. He slows down and waits for me. Everyone understands how hard this is for me.

Everyone.

Except Harry.

Zayn comes up behind me and lays a hand on my shoulder, trying to comfort me, but I don’t feel comforted. My lungs haven’t refilled with air yet, and they won’t be refilled until he’s back. Until he walks thru airport security and smiles that cheeky, beautiful, oblivious smile at me. Until he hugs me tightly and whispers into my ear, “I missed you, boo.”

Only then will I be able to breathe.

The fact that he doesn’t know of my love for him isn’t such a big problem. I’m more than willing to love him from afar, metaphorically speaking. My problem is him leaving. Being away from me. Taking my oxygen.

The funny part is, I’m not alone in this feeling. There’s someone in my circle who feels the same way, for me. The differences are great, however.

He can’t breathe because I know about his feelings and don’t return them. He can’t breathe because he has to be with me everyday and see me loving someone else, knowing I’ll never return his feelings. He can’t breathe because even though I’m hurting him, every second of every day, he still forces himself to take care of me. To love me despite my cruel, heartlessness to him. If I could love him I would, no doubt. But no love can be greater than my love for Harry. None. Not ever.

But still, I wish I could love Liam.

My throat is choked with emotion as I hear a plane take off overhead and the irrational thought that it’s Harry’s plane has the power to almost cripple me. A pain worse than suffocation courses thru me.

Something horridly close to drowning.

As I’m tugged by the impulse to continue, I force myself to stop. Something from behind absolutely prevents me from moving forward as the tightening in my chest constricts me tighter. Liam stops beside me and looks down anxiously, wondering the reason for me sudden refusal to move.

Niall somehow notices the absence of our following and turns to meet us with a confused expression. Zayn just stands there, hands respectably folded and his head down. He’s always had a great understanding of the pain experienced when Harry leaves.

But this sudden feeling is different. It’s a subtle nag at my soul and after completely rational and well deserved protests from my greater intellect, I slowly turned back around towards the terminal.

Liam’s eye brow shoots up and he looks at me worriedly. He knows of my lack of oxygen, but still prays for a clean break whenever Harry departs, considering how my pain hurts him as well. He’d thought this time would be easier than the previous ones. He wrong. But still, what I was feeling wasn’t quite registering as pain.

Just as I hear Niall’s confused voice behind me, my heart squeezes and my lungs threaten to collapse. All the voices and people around me die down into an indefinable buzz and blur as my vision tunnels around him.

This beautiful, perfect, amazing and necessary part of my heart.

He steps thru the crowd, frantically searching his surroundings and when his eyes set upon me I feel my heart lurch back into life, and my lungs surge with refreshing air. His eyes glimmer and he runs up to me, pushing past the blur of non-important bodies and stands directly in front of me, staring wide-eyed.

He’s a tad out of breath from running, but his flawless curls are still completely in place, and his gorgeous lips still have the power to - not take my breath away - but give me back my breath. They’re parting and for a second, I can’t hear anything that’s coming from them, until he stops and says it again.

“Lou?” His voice finally resonates thru my ears and it’s as if it’s the only noise in a room full of silence.

I open my mouth to speak but can think of nothing to describe how I’m feeling at the moment. That indescribable feeling of having something that you love wrenched away from you and then restored before you have a chance to cry is still jumping around in my body, and the all consuming  _joy_ is most likely visible thru my intense stare into my beloved’s eyes.

All in one quick motion, I’m wrapped in his arms, biting back tears and he nuzzles his soft nose into the side of my neck. “Would it be too bold of me to say that I never want to be apart from you?” His voice is heavy and choked, thick with emotion.

My breathing stops for a moment, and I feel the tears streaming down my face in a blissful fury. I cannot respond with anything other than a weak whimper and bringing my body closer to his.

I feel his body relax slightly at my acceptance, and before I can wonder if this farewell could get any better, his words resound firm and proud into my ear.

“I love you, Louis. You’re the very air that I breathe.”


End file.
